he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
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i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
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Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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