Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I enjoy the company of your penis
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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