just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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