i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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