Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
