I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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