bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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