I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
