The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
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I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
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Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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