Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
