if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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