whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
