me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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