I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
