I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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