Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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