Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
