He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
