i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
