Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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