So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
