So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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