My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
