brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
