So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
