theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
