Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
