One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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