My girlfriend figured out who you are.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
