I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
