I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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