My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
home. puking in laundry basket.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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