I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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