Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize