So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
