you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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