hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
