So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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