Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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