It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize