Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Two words: blizzard sex
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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