I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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