I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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