yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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