so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
