Someone shit on the floor
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We are all done wearing pants today
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