Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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