OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
