just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
