how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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