when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
