party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
