okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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