Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
third nipple confirmed
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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