Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
