He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
