Im at strip club and am horny
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
