The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
