she looked like the before picture.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
