She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
