so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
